for when you are caught between the fears of being too much and not enough

A step into The Apothecary

Within The Apothecary¹, just beyond the entryway, you will find an antique curio cabinet.
Worn and wooden…each cubby holding a treasure or three.
Above it is a sign that reads “fears”.
I often think this is a good place to begin.

On the very top rests a small hot air balloon.
People are often drawn to it.
Perhaps it is the glint of the moon that catches their eye.
Or the dance of the sun as it spins slowly.

A closer peek reveals an envelope sitting next to it and a treasure waiting in the basket.

As with everything in The Apothecary, you are welcome to pick it up.
Hold it in your hands.
Read the letter.
And see where you are taken.

{for when you are caught between the fears of being too much and not enough}

The sun does not give care to fears of fullness.
Its power is seemingly unending.
Its shine; nearly eternal.
It will burn away the clouds that attempt to cover it.

The moon does not worry that its light is a reflection.
It does not fight its cycle.
It is itself in fullness and as it rests unseen in the darkness.

Sometimes the fear of being too much is really the fear of being not enough.
Sometimes the fear of being not enough is really the fear of being too much.
And often, the fear at the heart of both is that, if we are seen as we are, we will not be loved.

I am going to tell you a secret:
These fears were placed within you.
Passed down to you.
Given to you so as to keep you…a force of the wild…controllable.
And you, my dear, were never meant for such bindings.
Freeing yourself is an act of courage, as you are invited you over the edge and into the All of who you are.
You have lived too long with pieces of yourself cut off from the fire.
Now you are to call yourself together.
And see what is possible.

Look within the basket.

This crown was crafted from the Fire of Aliveness.
This Fire is as it is, in all its forms.
It is a meeting point of all that is, was and could be.

The spark this crown holds is a roar.
A blade.
A possibility.
And it offers itself to you.

To feel its heat, you are tasked with wearing it.
As you do, all of w ho you are is called forward.
There is no “too” anything.
There is only you.
And the magic you possess.

Place it upon your head.
As you do, feel the fears of too much and not enough.
There is no need to run from them.
They have worked to hold you stuck.
But you are now freed from their power.

With the crown upon you, you are anchored into all of who you are.
Ask yourself, what do you know is true?
What do you need now?
As the swells of too much and not enough vanish from your being, what lives underneath?
A fear?
A worry?
A wish?

Keep the crown on for as long as is needed.
Wear it whenever you desire.
Let the answers that arise pull you deeper into The Apothecary.

With love and fire~
Jo Anna

1. Would you like to learn more about The Apothecary?
Read my last email.