I lived once.
On the edge of a forest.
At night.
I would peer into the darkness.
And the darkness would peer back.
Sharp and bright in her depth.
I would ache to know the treasures hidden in what I could not see.
For years.
Through the safety of my window.
I would watch her beauty shimmer.
I wished for the courage to breakthrough the voices of never and not.
I hoped to be summoned to her feet.
So that I might open the door.
So that I might know what waited beyond the threshold.
It wasn’t until one day.
One breath.
When I was caught on a chasm.
Threatening to split me.
Into who I was and where I ached to be.
That I stopped waiting for a sign.
Or invitation.
In my desperation, I walked out to the edge of the woods.
And faced the expanse.
She emerged.
Though, she was always there.
She drew herself together from shadows and sky and everything that could ever be.
She carried within her belly.
The wild of the universe bursting with stars and magic.
She reached her hand out to me.
But I could not move.
It is then that the whispers began to slither up my spine.
“What is here for you cannot be experienced simply by swimming in the deepest wonders of the oceans.
You must.
Be willing.
To submerge yourself in this mystery.
Until your lungs ache for more.
And you breathe in deeper than ever before.
Risking it all.
To find that you are not the you who watched from the shore.
To find that the skins were shed and tails were grown.
To find that you are.
And have always been.
In some way.
The Guardian of The Evers.
And that I.
Am only a reflection through a pane of glass.”
And with a howl that dissolved worlds I knew.
I fell beyond the boundary.
Forever to be seen again.
In darkness and density…
With love and fire~
Jo Anna
P.S.
I have had the privilege of getting to be on two podcasts recently and they were so much fun.
I spoke with Tammy Lawrence-Cymbalisty on her Podcast, I’m Still Here.
We spoke about true Self-love and ending the war within our being.
I also got to talk to Angel Sullivan on Rooted Mystic. Angel and I had the best time and an equally as wonderful conversation. You can catch it on Youtube and as a regular podcast.
If you listen, I would love to know what you think.
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