For when the path is long

And you aren't where you want to be

Once.
Maybe twice.
Likely, even more than that.
I stood at a doorway.
A threshold.
And I assumed.
That all I had to do was summon the courage.
And step through.
Then.
Everything would change.
For the better.

I would gather myself.
I would take a breath.
Step.
Solid in the assumption that I would be taken.
Wherever I was ready to go.

Instead.
I would find myself.
In the middle.
Of the ocean.
Of a long hallway.
Of a world not yet fully woven into being.

And without warning I would be adrift.
Again.
Waves and walls.
With me wondering what to do.
What I had done.
And why I was wherever I was.
Rather than in the dream I thought I was promised.
A reward for my bravery.
A balm for my aches.
A new beginning, a reward earned for the work I had done.

Sometimes there were tears.
Or bolts of lightning from my fear that was wrapped rage.
Sometimes, I would sink to the bottom.
Hoping to find respite in the stillness.
But finding only that I was lost.

Usually, in time.
I would set out.
Again.
Feeling my way through.
Until, I came across another door.

Once.
And only once.
Did a doorway have an inscription.
One that changed the journey.
Forever more.

I will leave it here with you.
In hopes it offers you what it gave me.

{liminality}

You can rest.
Right where you are.
Even if there is no throne for you.
Yet.
Yet.
Yet.
The path is long.
With endings only opening up to more than could be dreamt of.
So take the pleasures as they come.
The moments of breath and reconnection too.
Do so without the requirement that they be all that there is.
Or you will miss out on what is on the quest of what could be.
There will always be more.
Always.
With no guarantee that you are right in what you think should be.

So as you cross this threshold.
Know.
That more awaits you on the other side.
You will not find yourself at the end.
But firmly in a middle.
That is filled with treasure.
If only you are willing to see the way.
For the adventure it is.

With love and fire~
Jo Anna